There are days when life throws you a mighty great deal of curveballs. You would hope that these were made of white, puffy, cold slurve of balls that once it hits water, melts. But no. It annoys, iritates, and if it still hasn't pushed that many buttons in you, can be very maddening. Oh well. The many perks of being a human.
On the flip side of things, not all curveballs must be dealt with pessimism. Take for example my breasts. Yeap. You've read that right - "man" kind's fetish; the branding Victoria Secret models advertise; the perky lumps Fergie was telling us about while listening to "My Humps" back in the day. Breasts. Boobies. Tities - however, you want to call them. And for a 12 year old with some pretty valid self-esteem issues, it just didn't mesh well with me. You see, I found it hard to be comfortable with my body knowing that come summer time, I won't be able to get away with a 2 piece bikini swimwear without people noticing my not so endowed chest. Kimonos did not exist back in the day nor was I informed about maximizer bras to enhance what little assests I had. So what I would wear at the beach would be these :
- shorts
- oversized tshirt
- regular bras
It was horrible. Not only was I uncomfortable, I was unknowingly destroying the fabric of my essentials. For one, wearing shorts to the beach and having them wet tends to corrode the zipper - making it harder to zip them once it dries. Two, soaking an oversized shirt at the beach can weigh you down while walking around after getting the dip. You have to wring the sides of your shirt, thus, damaging it even more. Lastly, regular bras + salt water is never a good mix. You are damaging the sensitive composition of your brassiere giving it the "bacon strappy" look after drying it. These 3 essentials must not ever, EVER, be worn while getting soaked at the beach.
Overtime, I grew more conscious of the clothes I should wear and I lived vicariously through the pages of the magazines thinking I will never get to have the exhilirating feel of being comfortable in my own skin. But thank God I got off the cycle. As I grew older, I met different people who later on became my inspirations to challenge myself and outgrow the entire phase. I started purchasing bikinis, I was getting comfortable wearing bras with baby tees (Thank God and lingerie companies for maximizer bras), and I was enjoying being a flatty. How did I manage to outgrow that? Well, I used the assets that I had and leveraged on them to amp up my confidence. I am tall, fair-skinned, I have a well-shaped butt, I have manageable muffin tops and I am smart enough to know that I may not be the prettiest, coolest nor the best - well, who's competing with who actually? And I just don't care.
Now I am able to work with what I have. I know my body well enough that in a hindsight, I can judge whether those pair of bikinis will fit me well even when I am just scanning pictures online. And on days when I just don't feel like being on top of the world, I know how to rock the bum look without looking like a trailer trash.
I hope kids these days would embrace INDIVIDUALITY more. I hope they will be smart enough to understand that FITTING IN, IS ALL CRAP. And STANDING OUT should never scare the bejesus out of them. And to understand that it's okay to be DIFFERENT. Because being different does not mean being and outsider. It just shows that you have something else to offer to the world. A refreshing idea, a brand new take on fashion, an innovative ingeniuty that can either make or break the future. So, if you're in a crossroad of not knowing how to be okay with who and what you are, laugh it off. Trust me. Come tomorrow, you will just think it was all silly worrying like hell about it. :)
